In 2007, my sister was asked out on her first date. We were in middle school. It all happened on Google Chat. These are the transcripts.
Social & External
Brother
“There must be a different solution than the one from hell’. Full unadulterated terror (and music). 'The best class always ends with a lesson'. Almost baroque in its ambition and detail, Akerman and Seabra Lopes’ mesmerising short film delves deeply into the hard-wired dread of music lessons. Sewn around Schubert’s steely Opus 1, which is itself based on the no less terrifying legend of Goethe's Erlkönig, their film is a revelation.” International Film Festival Rotterdam.
Where Hazel Met the Villain is a 1914 movie starring Roscoe Arbuckle and Phyllis Allen.
Poop is a comedic mystery about a failing company performing mass lay-offs. During this terrible time somebody is leaving paper plates of poop around the office. Four co-workers team up to out the mystery pooper.
After amusements working in a restaurant, a waiter uses his lunch break to go roller skating.
A pawnbroker's assistant deals with his grumpy boss, his annoying co-worker and some eccentric customers as he flirts with the pawnbroker's daughter, until a perfidious crook with bad intentions arrives at the pawnshop.
A tailor's apprentice burns Count Broko's clothes while ironing them and the tailor fires him. Later, the tailor discovers a note explaining that the count cannot attend a dance party, so he dresses as such to take his place; but the apprentice has also gone to the mansion where the party is celebrated and bumps into the tailor in disguise…
The Dean and Board of Flunk Well College are arguing with its football coach, Bergen, about the team's star player, Charlie McCarthy, who is the only reason the team is a winning one, but who isn't doing well academically and could be pulled from the team if his grades and behavior don't improve. In other words, Charlie is a dummy in more ways than one. Beyond other problems Coach Bergen has with Charlie concerning the coach's girlfriend Joan, Coach Bergen has to get Charlie prepared to pass an exam administered by the Dean. Instead of cheating like he usually does, Charlie has his own way of dealing with the exam.
Ministry of Information-sponsored comedy short showing wartime audiences how to deal with the threat of incendiary bombs.
Comedy about a film crew shooting a movie about guns and robbers, when real robbers turn up. Having to go home in robbers costume, they are mistakingly accused. In the end the real robbers are brought to justice. One of the earliest films portraying bisexual characters.
A closeted boy runs the risk of being outed by his own heart after it pops out of his chest to chase down the boy of his dreams.
A radio salesman gets knocked out by a golf ball and dreams he's in the desert where he sells radios to sheiks.
Francine, a brilliant 9-year-old girl who hates her mother's cooking, battles a robot version of herself for her life - and a slice of pizza.
Samantha, Lydia, Isabella, and Lisa. These four young women are about to learn that humanity is just an irrelevant flame burning nowhere in the vastness of space. Their dreams will be shattered and one man will marvel at the evil he has committed.
A small swindler after an unsuccessful coincidence finds himself in the afterlife court as a defendant. The judge is a man, who he literally to death annoy during his lifetime.
A husband and wife suffering from an undefinable defect in their relationship seek guidance from an "alternative" therapist who advises them to take a weekend vacation to Joshua Tree and drop acid together as a antidote to their problematic marriage. But not all trips go as planned.
A running feud between Star Trek actors Brent Spiner and Levar Burton is the basis for this TV comedy pilot.
The Yacht Club Boys sing at a private party for George Mellon and his daughter. There are four of them, one of whom plays the piano, two play the guitar, and fourth plays the violin.
A comedy about Yossi, a charismatic Kosher butcher who loses his job, cannot find work at other Kosher butchers, and decides to pretend to be Muslim in order to get work at a Halal butchers.
In Handel's day this best-loved of all oratorios was performed by fewer than forty instrumentalists and a chorus, less than thirty strong, of boy trebles and men. That is the tradition to which Christopher Hogwood has returned in his performances with the Academy of Ancient Music. Members of the Academy all play instruments of the period or accurate modern copies. In this recording the choruses are sung by boy trebles and male altos, tenors and basses, members of the Choir of Westminster Abbey. The soloists improvise embellishments in the arias and, in certain cases, join in the singing of the choruses, just as they would have done 240 years ago. The recording takes full advantage not only of Westminster Abbey's fine acoustic qualities, but also of the incomparable architectural splendor of the surroundings.
Mabel, Liam and Aaron have been friends since childhood. Their bonds of friendship are tested when, years later, they realize their friendship is the only reason they have made it through emotional hardships and extreme tragedies.
Five years after a zombie outbreak, the men and women of R-Division hunt down and destroy the undead. When they see signs of a second outbreak, they fear humanity may not survive.
Naruto Uzumaki, Kakashi Hatake, Sakura Haruno, and Rock Lee are assigned to protect the prince of the Land of the Moon, Michiru, during his world trip; other escorts had been hired, but quit due to being treated poorly. The Land of the Moon is a very wealthy nation, so Michiru tends to buy whatever he wants, and has a very materialistic worldview. His Hikaru, also acts in much the same manner.
Sixteen years ago, a mysterious masked ninja unleashes a powerful creature known as the Nine-Tailed Demon Fox on the Hidden Leaf Village Konoha, killing many people. In response, the Fourth Hokage Minato Namikaze and his wife Kushina Uzumaki, the Demon Fox's living prison or Jinchūriki, manage to seal the creature inside their newborn son Naruto Uzumaki. With the Tailed Beast sealed, things continued as normal. However, in the present day, peace ended when a group of ninja called the Akatsuki attack Konoha under the guidance of Tobi, the mysterious masked man behind Fox's rampage years ago who intends on executing his plan to rule the world by shrouding it in illusions.
When Scooby and the gang hear of a werewolf plaguing a traveling circus, they go undercover as circus performers to get to the bottom.
A guy who danced with what could be the girl of his dreams at a costume ball only has one hint at her identity: the Zune she left behind as she rushed home in order to make her curfew. And with a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity in front of him, he sets out to find his masked beauty.
Aspiring New York City artist John Hollar returns to his Middle America hometown on the eve of his mother’s brain surgery. Joined by his girlfriend, eight months pregnant with their first child, John is forced to navigate the crazy world he left behind.
Thanks to an auto accident, a parasitic alien manages to get into a hospital. It quickly moves from the crash victim into a candy striper. Among the patients at the hospital are some rather short high school basketball players. It is through them that we watch the events unfold. The infected, or inhabited, candy striper becomes predatory. She goes after men for sex and after women to spread. Infected women develop an incredible sweet tooth and devour anything sweet they can find. The horror then spreads. As the horror takes over more of the hospital and the CDC locks it down, the basketball players and a few friends do everything they can to try and get out of the hospital. But soon it becomes evident that the problem has spread too far. Now if they manage to escape it will only be to delay the inevitable if they cannot halt the spread of aliens before they get out and take over the whole world.
A washed up actor best known for playing the title character in the 1980s detective show "Mindhorn" must work with the police when a serial killer says that he will only speak with Detective Mindhorn, whom he believes to be real.
The heir to a noble and influential family finds the love of his life, but she will only accept him if he becomes a kung-fu master. He becomes a legendary folk hero who tries to save the emperor.
Demons that once almost destroyed the world, are revived by someone. To prevent the world from being destroyed, the demon has to be sealed and the only one who can do it is the shrine maiden Shion from the country of demons, who has two powers; one is sealing demons and the other is predicting the deaths of humans. This time Naruto's mission is to guard Shion, but she predicts Naruto's death. The only way to escape it, is to get away from Shion, which would leave her unguarded, then the demon, whose only goal is to kill Shion will do so, thus meaning the end of the world. Naruto decides to challenge this "prediction of death."
A mysterious group of ninjas makes a surprise attack on the Konohagakure, which takes great damage. The nightmare of another Shinobi World War could become a reality. Sasuke, who was still a missing nin from Konoha trying to kill his brother, Itachi, appears for the second time in front of Naruto at an unknown location to prevent it from happening.
The bungling inspector Cruchot finds himself trying to save the residents of St. Tropez from some oil-drinking humanoid aliens. The only way to tell the aliens from the real people, besides their constant thirst for oil-products, is that they sound like empty garbage cans when you touch them. Chaos is ahead.
“Re-Existence” is a documentary about migration stories of individuals from the Brazilian queer community.
Bernie and Joan are two fiery flirters who are passionate about everything from hookups to breakups and each other. When he sets up his best friend, Danny, with her roommate, Debbie, the sparks soon fly as they try to navigate the relationship minefields from the bar to the bedroom and are eventually put to the test in the real world.
Join Scooby-Doo, Shaggy and the Mystery Inc. crew as they head to Chicago for Talent Star, a hit talent show in which Fred and Daphne are finalists with some high hopes. Unlucky for them, the competition is frightful as the show is being broadcast from an opera house with a history of horrors and a particularly vengeful phantom that has cursed the show's production.
Brooklyn mobster and prolific hit man Jimmy Conlon has seen better days. Longtime best friend of a mob boss, Jimmy is haunted by the sins of his past—as well as a dogged police detective who’s been one step behind Jimmy for 30 years. But when Jimmy’s estranged son becomes a target, Jimmy must make a choice between the crime family he chose and the real family he abandoned long ago. Now, with nowhere safe to turn, Jimmy has just one night to figure out exactly where his loyalties lie and to see if he can finally make things right.
Two disconnected sisters are summoned to clean out their childhood bedrooms before their parents sell their family home.
In this modern telling of the classic tale, aspiring singer Katie Gibbs falls for the new boy at her performing arts high school. But Katie's wicked stepmother and stepsister are scheming to crush her dream before she can sing her way into his heart.