
Why the hell would you want to play for the Toronto Boxsprings? They’re a bad team in a lousy inter-county league. They’re owned by a crappy discount mattress store. Even their locker room sucks - stuck in the leaky basement of a local dive bar.
Jessica 'Messy Jessie' Tapp

Chester 'Chip' Hudson

Benjamin 'The Berg' Berger

Kashvi 'Cash Money' Suthakar

Elias 'Eclair' LeClair (as Michael Daniel Murphy)

'Mystic' Linda Callaghan
Andrea 'Sad Andy' Tapp

Tony 'Noname' Yaznewski

Jeremy 'Juicebox' Berger

Umpire